The grandparents of the twins: a great resource for parents
Grandpa with Sergio and Silvia Sara
(taken from the brochures ASM Foundation for children's health - C.so Italy, 45 - 20122 Milano)
For most grandparents, particularly grandmothers, the arrival of a grandchild is an event experienced as beautiful, if he is the first excitement is even greater: we imagine the family gathered around the newcomer to all intents and love to cuddle . Joy is the same, but perhaps is less excitement when he learns that the grandchildren are coming in two, if we are even three, has taken a bit 'all panic! If there are no other twins in the family has already prepared in the event, but if you are the first twins or if others are known only "distance" is normal to be disappointed when they learned the news. For many grandparents but the enthusiasm remains the same even sometimes doubles or triples the number of twins expected this because they feel the "super grannies" who can boast a record that no other grandmothers. After the first phase of awe and excitement, is a very common behavior fantasize about how they are twins: one wonders if they are identical, if they are two males, two females or one male and one female, if they have the same temperament, or whether they will be different, we are planning to see them grow together and alternate with a thousand thoughts in mind fascinating and disturbing at the same time! Below we have gathered the testimonies of some grandmothers of twins belonging to TAMBA (Twins And Multiple Birth Association), an Englishman who takes care of the twins and their families so that they can be of help to all those people who are going to become grandparents of twins. The twins' grandmother
"We grandmothers can be very different between us, we can be one-authoritarian, intrusive, maternal, affectionate, and we can have good health or have some problem we can live next door to one of the twins or be distant thousands of miles, but we all shared a great love to our grandchildren and the desire to be helpful. But let us not forget that to be the mother of the twins to show us the best way to help her, trying to channel our enthusiasm in the best way for everyone.
Pregnancy
The involvement of grandparents began when the U.S. announced that the first born twins! During pregnancy, in fact, prospective parents may need help to reorganize the house before the arrival of children, we also know that when the twin pregnancy are more likely than a singleton pregnancy, childbirth, which occur before the end , so the mother may need to rest and have a trusted person you can count on is very important. A woman normally expect when a child has many doubts and misgivings, therefore, always needs a lot of understanding and affection to feel surrounded, even more so if a woman is experiencing a twin pregnancy, we must be near and ready to reassure her when needed.
The older brothers of the twins
When there are already other grandchildren on grandparents' role is essential to prepare them, along with parents, the arrival of twins. For older children they used to be the center of attention for the whole family, the birth of twins may feel excluded and set aside. To avoid this we must involve them from the outset in preparations for domestic and reorganization family taking into account their needs and their reactions, as subsequently involve them in the care of their children by giving them small tasks that make them feel important. Very often, when relatives and friends go to visit the new born, do nothing but admire and praise the twins almost bypassing or older brothers. Grandparents have a vital role in engaging children in conversation and encourage more people to be interested in them. It 's very important to family and friends to also raise this issue in order to collaborate with parents should feel older brothers active part of the new event. We can also take advantage of free time to bring the brothers largest in the park or just a walk or purchase order to speak freely, paying attention to the bull needs. If twins after birth require a period of hospitalization, especially if you are worried about their health conditions, will be very important to help parents through this period by giving them all our help and our understanding. if there are other children have to try to reassure them by making them realize that the affection of parents towards them has not changed even if other children have arrived in the family. The bond between grandparents and grandchildren is very strong, so it will be easy to pamper and look after their grandchildren greatest when the parents will stay in hospital twins, giving them the affection they need. In this way they will be easier to adapt to high new reality. Read a story with the older child, take him out to play or walk, eat together, go to the movies, are all ways to make him feel loved. If you live far away and we can not see his grandson easily, we can still stay with him frequently by telephone and talking with him first and then with other family members in this way will feel important and understand that we called just to talk to him. Is also useful to send a gift, write a letter, if the child can read, or take him out for a weekend.
Twins When twins return home there is always plenty to do, the best thing to do is let parents decide how to reorganize the family and grandparents in what tasks we can be more effective. Generally it is best to take care of the housework and the mother left to care for children, but should not replace Stand close to it because although young and inexperienced is the most important person with whom the twins need to learn to relate to. We grandmothers who have already lived the experience of being mothers, we know how important it is early to feel reassured and comforted the adequacy of the new role of mother, so we avoid overly criticize or comment on what makes the new mother, the most important thing is to show confidence and let her know that motherhood is a natural condition that must be lived peacefully. If the mother has other children will feel safer, but if it is the first experience his greatest fear is to fail to give every child the love and care they need, we must help them to trust in itself reassuring and spurring in his new role as mother. For the twins is very important to foster development in the early months of an independent personality, distinct from that of the other twin, the grandparents may be essential in this process of individuation. It 's very useful indeed for the good development of individual support moments in which the twins in turn benefit from the presence of the mother without having to share with the co-twin, do this for us grandparents can play with a child in another room or take a walk while the other stays with the mother, doing the same the next day with the twin who was with his mother. Equally useful is to take turns bathing in a twin and her mother does another.
Parents of twins
One of the most common problems that parents of twins complain is the lack of time for the couple and the social isolation that results in the birth of children. Parents need to have some 'time to dedicate themselves to recharge and find new energy to meet the commitments family, as well as attend some friends or see a movie at the cinema makes them come out from everyday life for a while 'and helps them to relax. The availability of our grandparents is crucial to help them find a little 'time to devote to your partner or to see friends and once a week because we can look after children for a few hours and allow parents dl go for a walk just, just so 'together and speak freely or to see some friends.
Marina's grandmother and Francis G. born November 6, 1993 said ...
"When you know that becoming a grandmother of twins think you end up with two kids to feed, instead you find yourself with three creatures, one of which is to take care of your daughter. Needs care and love as children, if not more, need to follow when trying to eat it to rest between feedings and the other so that it can survive and take care of children alone. You also have to reassure her husband that the "rag whining "he sees around the house will return to being a wife. Becoming a grandparent means to try to see the immense tenderness dl miracle of birth a child by a person who deeply loves either your daughter or your son, but you have to roll up your sleeves, terminate all commitments and begin this wonderful adventure! The most important thing is to relieve parents of twins in the affairs and commitments dl every day, taking care of parents while they think the twins. Do not worry because after the first month of this great adventure is over, the children will have their own rhythm of life, the "rag" of your daughter be renewed, they will become a father "mama" perfect grandparent, and you begin to make real grandparents bringing grandchildren to the park and they boast large capacity with friends! "
