Should I have feelings of guilt? I should be ashamed of what I did? I should be ashamed of the thoughts I had in mind? Walking the streets with her head down and not being able to look more into the eyes my husband? No. I'm selfish, maybe arrogant, but I have not done anything wrong. Eye does not see, heart does not hurt.
I've thought and thought. In the end I removed the fake profile I had on facebook. After the big slide, I destroyed every picture, every deleted message "killed" all friends. Friends, I have to laugh. Why then call them?
About slips. I never told the facade that I had met "the man of my dreams" met on fb. One day, navigating unfamiliar faces and smiles to 32 teeth, I see him. His name is Andrew, 33 years old and is in Milan. The profile photo is wearing a black shirt kept open on his chest. Not too open but it seems like a tamarro, but enough to be a Man. The man has a beautiful body and an inviting smile. I ask him the friendship and soon begin to messages. Before any presentation message, then post ironic, mischievous and full of double meanings. Without falling into the vernacular, let's chat. I had first ever chatted to now, did not even know how to do it.
Andrea is cute, funny and beautiful to die for. Not the one conventional beauty though. Andrea is a boy. After a short time we decide that the time has come to meet you. To work, to move from my city, but not alone. Never mind, I think. I decide to bring a friend. The only one who knows. On the morning of the appointment are agitated, I have butterflies in my stomach, I feel a fifteen to first crush. When I see him a jerk. I drop the glasses, keys in my hand. If I had imagined a scene of our meeting, I would not have imagined in a certain that way. The awkward greeting and we give two kisses on the cheek. We are both embarrassed, but maybe it's just me. He is safe and c'incamminiamo to his friend. Other presentations and then the day passes much too slowly ... slowly. We'd exchanged four words yes and no. He and his friend made common cause and there was no way to slip in their speeches. I hoped so much that my friend was wrong when suddenly blurts out: "This is not calling you back more! But he was right. Towards evening, I wrote a long message. Long to look nice and hide the hidden words that were roughly these: "I'm sorry but ...!"
I do not remember the exact words of the message, my subconscious tried to remove them immediately. The sense was that anyway. Now I'm trying to start from scratch. They are (fairly) happy Christmas and all in all it was a nice Christmas. New year, new life. We share with all the good intentions is not it?
